My Muse

My Muse

Let me give a bit of history about myself first. I am the kind of person that can only be emotionally bound to one person at a time & I’m not the short term or casual relationship type at all. Sometimes I’ve wished that I could be but my personal emotional focus is just too narrow. I’ve been married for 26 years to a man I have known for almost 36 years & he was the first man I ever dated seriously. (Of course at that time in my life my choices were next to non-existent because I was the friend kind to the guys, not dating material.) When I commit to something I am extremely focused on that commitment. It takes a great deal to redirect my heart and believe me when I say that I am way to stubborn & tenacious to be the one who turns away first or without a fight. I have been on the internet for 13+ years & in that time I have had countless propositions. Most of the kind that aren’t worth the letters it took to spell them out. Some from those who wanted to be close to me but I felt no connection other than an acquaintance or friend. If that had been my goal then I would have taken that option during the time when I had two Yahoo group that I started to share my interests, links, stories & information that grew to one with over 3000 members and the other that was over 500 members; even with all that, at no time did I ever have someone come into my realm that I wanted or who sparked my attention. I was here for my own enjoyment and pleasure. I liked to share it generally speaking but I didn’t care to personalize the experience to a one on one basis. That is still the case even now. I don’t say this to sound conceited; a concept that is alien to me since I was very shy & introverted through a majority of my life. My appearance and attitudes as they are now didn’t take shape till more recently in my life. I have turned down many men who claimed to want me, care for me but who never knew me. All they knew or cared about was the fantasy person they imagined me to be. They had no clue who I was & I frankly didn’t have the time or inclination to correct them. In my comprehending that reality it made it easy to shut them out. There was one who I found at least interesting but it didn’t take me long to find we could only be casual friends because his focus was only ever on himself. No depth. Sweet man and he’ll readily admit his flaws but not my type at all. It was while I was finding out the character of this man that another slipped into my life unexpectedly…



It’s not something I set out to do, fall in love with him that is and it certainly hasn’t happened overnight. We’ve known each other around 4 years now. As a matter of fact, even though I felt the draw from the beginning, I worked very hard to keep a distance, keep things ‘real’. When we’d first met I had a lot of not so great things going on in my life, my relationship was rapidly unraveling, so I wasn’t all that confident in my perceptions or judgments. I knew I was vulnerable. I have a few close friends but I’m one of those people who keep things to my self. I don’t seek others out to lay my burdens on their shoulders. Keeping my own counsel is pretty much all I’ve ever known. Writing has always been my outlet throughout my life & it’s the first thing I do when I’m trying to work things out for myself. I used to write private journals, I still have one for my self alone but I try to do some things within blogs these days as I can. Blogs are what we write when we wish others would ask us to share with them but very few bother to ask or care. How fortunate I was when he stumbled across my page & asked to be my friend. The funny thing is that I don’t add people that I don’t already know, just my tried & true rule, but I saw his beautiful face, read his description of himself & felt there was not only common interests but there was something special about him, even then. They say that people come into you life for a reason, a season or a lifetime. There’s no telling which a person is immediately though sometimes we get a sense of finding in someone something that we are missing, need, admire or can give. With him I found all of that & more. Yet I still don’t know him as I should. I am an internet veteran & far from unintelligent so I don’t take much at face value, I use my instincts as well as ask questions to get as much information as I can. It’s not like I don’t have a world of questions that I’d like to ask him, I just haven’t felt that was the way to get the answers from him. With him I have followed only my instincts alone, allowing him to provide the information that he will. Some things he’s told me but I readily admit that most of what I know, or feel I know is what I have concluded on my own. I have no idea to what extent I am correct or incorrect but I have always had a pretty accurate ability to read people, some think eerily so. I’ve placed a great deal of trust in him. I wonder if he truly comprehends the actual scope of it. And the demon sits on my shoulder and asks, ‘What if he simply doesn’t care about the scope of it. What if it’s all in your head, a fantasy of what I wish it to be rather than reality.” This is the hardest part about a connection that is mainly online. The uncertainty is crushing sometimes. I have thought about backing off, stepping away if only to save myself the pain of his not being mine. Not mine, not mine – the thought slices through me often. It’s the intensity of the need and longing that he was mine that stains my thoughts & heart.



He first made his way into my heart by actually caring enough to read my blogs & comment when I felt most lost in the world. I’d filet my soul in a blog that no one but he would ever bothered to read and every time he was there encouraging me, reaching out to me when I felt alone, when I really was alone. He cared when I didn’t feel worthy of it & he made me smile when I needed to most. I’ve tried to be the same for him as much as he’ll allow me to be. There’s always been a strong attraction which has continued to sharpen to an excruciating razors edge but it’s been this bond, our connection, which has grown stronger, albeit gradually, over time. He has so far proven to be worth my patience and I hope that I have been worth his.



I love him… God help me, I honestly do. He fills my thoughts constantly. He has become my muse. I write about being with him since I can’t be. I think of him when I need to smile. I worry about him when he’s away. He’s the first person I think of when I find something interesting that I’d like to share. There are these odd instances when I feel him more deeply than others & at those same moments he’ll text, message or write. It’s like I can feel his thoughts on me. I have a heart-bond to him; an emotional investment in his life. More than anything I want him to be happy. I’d give much if it were me who could do that but even if I couldn’t then I would still want him to find it where ever it might be, with whomever it might be with though I readily admit I don’t want details if it isn’t about me. I’m no masochist; I don’t take pleasure in pain. I’ve never held back telling him most of my feelings. I’ve been compelled to be very honest, he deserves that. Even though I sometimes anticipate it, he’s never turned me away though I suppose that I often expect that he will - eventually. I’ve given him plenty of opportunities to walk away but he’s yet to do so though that might also be relevant to the fact that I demand little of him. I realize that perhaps I might not think I deserve more or I’m afraid that if I would ask he just might not care to meet the demand; neither have I stirred a strong desire in him to pursue. Standing still is just one short turn to moving away is it not? But I can’t help feeling that anything that isn’t given freely isn’t worth having. I read a quote just today that said, “You try to give away what you want for yourself.” This is very true. I want to pour into him all that I wish him to pour back into me. What I give of myself to him I do so willingly, without expectation but because I simply desire to do so. My side seems to be the opening of the Hoover damn or Angel Falls so I am, of course, concerned about drowning the man; while his… well, lets just say I’m very thirsty for more of him because of what he’s allowed me to drink but I feel insatiable where he is concerned. This is the largest flaw in our connection and one that torments me most although I am grateful for the progress I’ve gained with time & persistence. In the beginning he wouldn’t let me in; kept me at a safe distance yet acted like he wanted more. I told him that if we were to be friends he had to try, even though it was against his nature, he must try to let me in or we could go no further. There were times when I couldn’t penetrate the wall he built around himself and I couldn’t have a friendship with someone who made it a singular fruitless quest. I’d begin to retreat from the connection I felt with him but he would reach out to stop me so I kept trying to break through. Still continuing to break through. Little by little this bond has grown; forged through a sort of tempering of wills, though as I said, I wonder if it is not of more substance in my mind than in fact. I have to admit I fear the pain I’ve given him the power to inflict and he doesn’t seem willing or able to assure me. I get small encouragements here & there but I often feel like I’ve coerced those. Again I wonder - do I expect more than he’s able to give. The answer torments me and the demon whispers, “very likely yes.” But then I have to look into myself & ask what it is that I actually do expect and the only clear answer I can find is - more than I have now. And again the demon whispers, “Yep, that’s exactly what will turn him away.” And indeed it might. But if that should happen then for a while some small part of him was mine briefly & I’ll find a way to push it down & move on. It’s what I know how to do best.



Love is something that’s offered, it’s up to the object of that affection to accept it or not. It makes little difference in changing the emotion that’s felt by the one feeling it. But I do love him even though he seems somewhat uncomfortable if I say it to him. The man he lets me know, the one I’m still discovering, the one I imagine; the man he tries to hide, the one I see despite it. The man he fears he is to the one he’s yet to be. From the exalted heights of all he encompasses to the damning depths of his personal hell. I see all that he is with my eyes & heart wide open; the beauty & the beast all rolled up into one and he takes my breath away! I look in his eyes & I see his soul; criss-crossed with the scars of his life like a road map that I don’t think many, if any, have looked close enough to read if they are even capable of doing so. I want to follow & sooth each line, learning the topography hidden in those dark depths. If he had been born in another place and time, history would have heralded his life. He would have carved his name in time and changed the world with his convictions & principles that it should be better & more than what it was. He is a true renaissance man trying to exist in a time that doesn’t quite fit him. I think if there is such a thing as reincarnation he was once Alexander the Great or Michelangelo; visionaries who used their life to make their ideals reality at great personal cost but with a greater strength than the common man as well as a healthy dose of arrogance in their own visions. But he is very much a man, one with feet of clay like the rest of us. He has his faults, fears and more crosses to bear than most; all of which cements his tenacity. So with all that haunts my heart where he is concerned about how he might feel about me the thing that is most obvious, most striking in all of this is, being who & what he is, how could I do anything BUT love him; even if it isn’t balanced or to my advantage. He is my muse, my light & my dark, my bane & my inspiration. For all the emotion he engenders in me on either side of the scale the absolute certainty in this is that he makes me feel deeply; which is the most precious fragrance in the spice of life. There are no roses without the thorns.

The Ride

It's been a while so how about it if I toss one off for you… A scene that will invade your thoughts on any long hard drive you make… (*for my muse?)







We're traveling together, road trip style. I love road trips. The constantly changing scenery always keeps me excited about what's just down the road but this time we're driving in a very rural area where the scene doesn't vary much from one plot of farm land to the next. I'd been hoping to get off since we started off! The first leg of the trip is a straight shot on a highway through endless miles of nothing exciting so I decide to generate my own point of interest. I slide close to you on the seat, beginning by rubbing your leg through the soft worn denim, working my way higher till I feel your cock hardening in response to my strokes. I smile at the gorgeous profile of your face as you watch the road, trying to concentrate but I recognize the light of passion already firing your eyes. I also notice a slightly determined clench to your jaw even through the shading of beard that covers it. My lips seek the pulse in your neck; I feel the coursing of your blood as your heart pounds steady and strong. I graze my teeth ever so lightly over the spot, wanting to bite and suck a mark of passion there but I refrain from going that far because my goal is to tease and torment, not land us in an accident from startling you as you drive. So instead I content myself by exchanging my teeth on your skin to using the tip of my tongue. With my free hand I gently push your beautiful long dark hair softly behind your ear, clearing your ear to trace the curve of it with the wet point of my tongue then twirling it quickly around the lobe, knowing that the action along with the heat of my breath is shooting waves of pleasure through your sensitive body. “Mmm, someone's up for a very different kind of ride I see… “I croon softly as you harden further under my teasing fingers. You briefly close your eyes and swallow the heat that is making your body tense, a futile bid for control. “Come on doll, you know I'm always up for you but we need to get some miles knocked out in a hurry this morning so we're where we want to be later this evening.” You say the words but you've yet to remove my hand; I know you won't because you love the feel of me touching you.






I pout, “Come on lover, I want to taste you.” I reach for your belt, intending to free your gorgeous engorged shaft so that I can sheathe it in the velvet soft heat of my mouth. You stop my hands, you glance at me with a sad look, “I'm really sorry sweetie but we really have to keep this schedule. I promise when we get there I'll make it up to you.” Once my passion is stoked its incredibly difficult to stuff it back, down so with a bitter effort at control I move as close to the opposite door of the SUV as I can get - hurt and frustrated. I stare out the window, tears stinging the backs of my eyes while not seeing anything; only feeling your rejection like a stone lodged behind my ribs.






“Honey, please, don't look like that,” you gently sooth. I can hear the regret in your voice; see the sadness in you eyes. You reach out your hand to me… I hesitate - but only for a breath in time. How can I help but slide back to be near you? I've never been able to resist you. I think that's because what you've wanted to take and give I've also selfishly wanted to give and take. I tuck myself under the warm weight of your arm with my back pressed to your side. I sigh. My ardor hasn't abated but I always feel such a wonderful peace when I'm near you. It's like I'm protected, safe from the entire world because when I'm near you there is nothing that exists of importance outside the world within the circle of your arms. But it's when my flesh touches yours that the embers are ignited and flames swathe my body. I can feel your pulse beating where our bodies connect. Your scent engulfs me; I smile to myself as I lay the hand that I'd been stroking within my own on my breast. I feel the rumble of your chest as you release a moan of desire. You cup my ample breast in your hand, measuring the weight of it from beneath in your palm. You graze over my nipple with your thumb, feeling the instant response of the hardening bud through the lace of my bra. I bite my lower lip; close my eyes as the wave of wanting tightens my nipples as if they were being pinched. “Mmm, that feels sooo good baby,” I breathe. You reach up to slip your hand into the top edge of my shirt, wanting flesh to flesh contact. I pull down the front of the stretchy material so that my lacey plunge bra is uncovered and your hand is free to explore the swells of my breasts. Your fingertips are cool against the straining points of my nipples, I inhale quickly as a chill races from the point of contact down my spine but it's liquid heat that seeps between my thighs, my nipples pucker harder as you pull them into punishing pleasures. As I said, my goal was to seduce you into some 'auto' erotic fun so I'd dressed for the event; the elasticity of the pink top, the sheer lace plunge bra, the swingy light denim skirt and no panties underneath… All staged to enhance the blue of my eyes and the natural cinnamon tan I worked to achieve slowly with many nude liaisons with sunscreen and my favorite star over the summer. You remove your hand from inside my bra, sliding your fingertips up my chest, caressing my neck then running your fingers over my parted lips. I take your hand in mine, opening your palm to my kisses. I moan as I run my tongue up the inside of your middle and index finger - taking them into my mouth. I swirl my tongue against them, fluttering it against your fingers as I suck them in and out in simulated oral gestures. “Wouldn't you rather let me do this to your cock baby? Let me please you…” I whispered in a voice deepened by lust.






I can hear the smile in your voice as you growl, “I'd rather do this…” You reach down to pull up the front of my skirt. I grin too, knowing what's coming and it's likely soon to be me! I spread my legs, leaving one bare foot on the floor and raising the other foot to rest on the seat with my knee bent and the hair on my mons being gently tickled but the air moving through the SUV from the open windows. A coolness raises chill bumps on my skin as the air touches the wetness that slickens the outer lips of my labia and inner thighs.






“Ah, what a naughty girl you are! No panties?” You slap your closed fingers on my fleshy natural furred mound, instantly discovering the influence you always have on me. “Damn baby, you're soaked!” I hear the appreciation and pride in your voice. You love the power that you have over me. You stroke the outer lips before spreading them with your fingers then gently stroking deeper, circling my clit, coaxing it to engorged sensitivity under your practiced hand. I moan your name, encouraging you to continue as my body quivers from your touch. I can't sit still; I'm grinding my hips in slow circles, as much as I can do so seated, matching the rhythm of your hand. You plunge two fingers into the weeping fountain of my pussy. I gasp. I pull my bra forward, spilling my large fully tanned breasts into my own hands. You're alternating between watching the road to looking over my shoulder. Watching me squeeze my coppery breasts, pinch my highly contrasting light pink nipples and seeing your hand, wet with my juices slipping from clit to pulsating opening; its hypnotic. Perhaps this is why with our attention so distracted that at first neither of us had noticed the 18 wheeler that had come up in the right slow lane on the three lane highway until he blew his train-like horn and we both looked startled into the stranger's grinning appreciative face as he watched our play. Your first instinct was to pull your hand away but at this point I was too close to cumming and I couldn't bare the sudden interruption. “Please, don't stop!” I plead.






“But he's watching…” You whisper breathlessly against the top of my head. I can hear the new, almost frightened excitement in your voice.






“I don't care! Let him watch! Please don't stop!” My voice quivers but is defiant. I spread my legs wider so the trucker can get the full view. Your hand returns to it's marvelous manipulations and I smile at the driver before continuing to fondle my breasts, pinching my nipples then lifting them to my bent head to lick them with my tongue. The trucker paces us, watching intently between glances at the road ahead. The single hand on the wheel of the big rig made it more than evident that the other was attending to his pleasure.






“You know what he's doing don't you? He's stroking his cock, wishing he was balls deep where your hand is.” I gasp out between ragged breaths as I look directly into the trucker's glazed eyes as my body gets closer to explosion under his gaze and your hand.






“Yes, he wants to be where I am, feeling your pulsing pussy clinching my fingers like I do, know that he's the one who going to make you cum.” Your voice deep but breathless. “But he's not and he won't. This is mine, cum for me baby - now!” And I did, hard! My body jerking, my head pressed hard into your shoulder as I cry out my climax loud enough for even the trucker to hear. He gives a whooping yell and pulls the horn of the truck again. He yells across the noise of the engines and over the space that separates the two vehicles, “Wanna share?” At this point you remove your slippery fingers, dripping with my climactic honey and bring them to your mouth, inserting them to drink my essence from them. You lick your lips, look over at the hopeful face of the man in the truck and say, in a tone that invites no reproach, “NO!” He smiles and shrugs well naturedly. Blows a kiss to me, salutes you then drop back further into his lane as we move on in our own.






You're smiling, so am I but not for the same reasons, at least not entirely. I tuck my breasts back into the front of my bra and turn towards you, leaning forward to kiss your smiling lips quickly. Even though I've just had my own pleasure fulfilled I'm still just as hot, if not more so now, as I'd been when we'd begun. “Did you like that baby? Did it make you hot?” I tease. Knowing damned well it had because there was a very evident wet spot of precum that had soaked and darkened a large area on your jeans; your cock is rock hard and fully defined under the tight material. “Hell yes it did! I'm about to explode right now… Damn!! I don't believe what we just did” Your jaw is tight with restrained lust but wonder in your eyes at our new daring.






I smile widely. You wouldn't stop me now, couldn't because you were so ready for what I'd wanted to do earlier. This time when I reached for your belt you lean back and scoot forward a bit so that I can free my lovely prize. I use my tongue to dip into the crevice to collect your nectar before swirling it over the sensitive head of your cock then taking you fully into my mouth. You tangle your hand in my hair, massaging the back of my head and neck as I begin to pick up the rhythm of my strokes. You can't move your hips too much but you do enough to let me know the pace you want to set. This isn't going to be slow and leisurely, you're hot from our performance and ready to burst! Good God! I've gotta get off this road! I hear the strain in your voice and know the tidal wave is about to break.






I feel the car moving off to the side but I'm not sure where we're going. What I know is that you don't have enough control to cum and drive at the same time. I feel the car curving first to the right then harder to the left, then right again. The next thing I know, you're pulling your shirt the rest of the way out of your jean, pushing my shoulders to push me away as you gingerly tuck yourself into you pants… “What the hell…?” I'm confused momentarily but as I finally look up and around I see that we're in a rest area, already parked towards the end of the parking lot away from the other cars and the facility. You twist the keys savagely out of the ignition, jump out of the SUV, run around to my side, jerk open the door and reach for my hand. I'm grinning from ear to ear, knowing where your mind has gone and I'm right there with you! I've pushed my sandals onto my feet, shoved my purse under the seat and hit the lock button on the door as I jump out beside you. We laugh and try not to run towards the secluded shelter house that we've spotted away from the other travelers, consisting mostly of trucker but enough passenger vehicles to make us not want to draw their attention. The last thing we needed was to have a 'friendly chat' with someone. We make it to the shelter unseen… As soon as we're behind the wall that blocks the view of the facility you pull me hard against your body, wrapping one of your hands into my hair kissing me hard while the other hand is unfastening my bra under the back of my shirt. I love it when your passion is so stoked there's this blinding primal intensity that strikes an answering chord in me and we set out to devour each other. I quickly unfasten your pants, gently freeing your throbbing member. I sweep my bra and the front of my shirt over my head, leaving them on my shoulders in case I would need to pull them into place quickly but liberating my breasts for your handling. You do the same, knowing we both need to feel the heat of flesh to flesh. I wrap my arms around your neck, pressing the length of my body hard to yours as you step us towards the edge of one of the picnic tables in the shelter. As soon as I felt the edge pressing into my behind I hopped up on the edge. Thank god for the mistrust of state rest areas! The tables were bolted to the concrete so they were wonderfully stable! As soon as my ass was planted firmly on the table top I wrapped my legs around your hips, pulling you to me. You entered me readily, slamming fully to the hilt in one mighty thrust, burying yourself deep into my welcoming womb. “Mmm baby! You feel so good inside me! Ah please love, take me, and show me what's yours!” I gasp, breathing hard as you pound into me. A steady strong stroke that has my breasts bouncing hypnotically before your eyes. You bend you head to torment my hard nipples between your lips & teeth, the feel of your hair over my naked flesh like feathery fingers driving me wilder before you capture my breasts in your hands, squeezing them together, rolling my nipples between your fingers till they are rosy pink hard knots of sensation as you kiss take my breath into your mouth as our lips crush each others & our tongues taste the heat of a different erotic dance. My hands are on you forearms, pulling my pelvis into yours, rolling my hips, caught up in the glorious tension building again in my body in answer to yours. You continue to temper the hardness of your cock in the heat of my canal, leaning back enough to watch yourself entering and retreating between the engorged magenta inner folds as they wrap your steely flesh in the most intimate of kisses, adding your own milky gloss to those lips. Panting, sweating, you growl between clenched teeth, “God doll, I love seeing myself moving in and out of that sweet flower! I'm ready baby!” I know what this means, my legs go up, onto your shoulders, you grasp my thighs as I lift my hips higher as you lean forward. We're both dizzy with passion, our bodies tense. I feel the strain of your body; hear your breathing become ragged as the moan that's closer to a growl starts low in your throat and know this is it. Your body locks… Your head is back; your neck is taunt and strained. There's something entirely erotic and intoxicating to me in that one gesture - a sort of sexual surrender and vulnerability that has always caused me a slam of instant pleasure. I reach the pinnacle first, my body racked with spasms of ecstasy! The clench and relaxing of my pussy catapulting you over the precipice and you bury your cock fully into my womb, spilling your seed deep into the contracting passageway with a cry of triumph. You collapse onto me, breathless and spent. I hold you, stroking you hair as you stroke my breast. At the same time the realization of what we've done hits us and we both laugh at our daring. “Well, this has been quite the exciting trip hasn't it doll!” You grin and wink as you lean on your elbows gazing into my eyes.






“Absolutely and the trip isn't over yet! Who can guess at what might happen next!” I tease kissing your smiling lips.






We get up, adjust our clothing and slowly start back to the SUV. As we drew closer to the end of the parking lot where it was parked a group of men that was standing outside the facility doors began to whistle in appreciation and clap with wolf howls but staying were they were. We were both confused, staring at the men as if they were insane as we quickened getting into the SUV. “What the hell do you think that was about, there wasn't anyone around…” You wonder aloud. We hadn't noticed a young couple just returning to their car but they both laughed, winked and the man said, we understand how you feel and what that's about…” he nodded his head back towards the men. He pointed to an area about half way up one of the lighting polls. We both looked up and noticed the cameras… Looking around we saw more and surely there must have been one in an isolated shelter house for security purposes. We looked back at the still grinning couple. This time it was the woman, “Yep, you two just gave one hell of a performance for a very surprised but appreciative audience!” “I'll be damned!” You swore incredulously. You looked at the men, looked back at me, a slow grin spreading across you face, devilment lighting your eyes. You winked at me, turned towards the men, we gave an exaggerated bow, jumped into the SUV and drove off laughing our asses off!






“Good God woman, do you always get what you want?” You tease smiling.






“Only those things I want most for all the right reasons sexy man! One day you'll learn not to try and deny me what I really want because I'll find a way of making you want to give it to me…” I smile back, more than just a little pleased with myself.






You look at me, shake your head and chuckle. I know that what ever time we may have lost you'll make it up with a heavier foot, at least till I decide to distract you again!






I hope you enjoyed the ride as much as I did taking it!

*EEB - Summer's Heat (05-22-2008)

For those rare few who really know me, you know what this time of year means to me and how excited I am that it's here once more! For eight months out of the year I deal with the rollercoaster of my life as it comes but there is always this underlying sense of tension; sort of like there's always this presence of dreaded anticipation of what could possibly happen next. I'm sure this is more relevant to the rough few years that I've had in my life of late than seasonal depression that affects some people. I'm not going to piss and moan about that, this is a very happy time for me. Those issues still exist in my life but at this time of year my soul is soothed by sun and water and the trials and tribulations of life are somehow easier to handle. ..:namespace prefix = o ns = "urn:schemas-microsoft-com:office:office" />
This is my season of Zen, when I experience the most enveloping serenity to my core. I don't know what it is about the feel of the warmth of the sun on my skin but it actually feels like as soon as the heat touches my skin it spreads like a wave throughout my body, literally washing over and through me, making the small hairs stand up over my skin. *grins* I've come to the conclusion that I'm solar powered. One of the most pleasurable and simplistic erotic experiences I have in my life happens just from laying on a lounge chair beside the pool while the ebb and flow of a breeze carries the rays of the sun over my body; occasionally catching the mist of the water to caress my flesh with a tingling moist kiss. (Yes folks, this isn't just poetic prose, I think just as descriptively as I write. As any given experience is taking place sensations are truly poetic and artistic in their existence if you're open to experiencing them fully) I'm sure I'd find the same experience if I were relaxing anywhere in the sun and by water. This combination of sensation brings me a peace to my being that I find at no other time of the year because I just don't have access to these elements any other time as I do between Memorial Day weekend and Labor Day. This is the time when the pool we go to is open. Ok, it's more than just a pool, they call it an aquatic center which means its big pool with some nice extras like an inner tube slide, a body slide, the diving board and the dump tube slide, a sand large volleyball area, the wet sand play area, a concession area and surrounded by a large area of parkland. A full summer's worth of all this for a family of four non residents of the city for $190, cheapest and longest vacation anyone could ever hope for! We've had a family pass there for about eight or nine years so there's comfort in the familiarity of the place as well as the people – our pool family as we call each other. *laughs*
I've known what medical science is just finding out, being outside in the sun does wonders to heighten your sense of well being and contentment. At least it does for me. There's also the absorption of vitamin D. As much as I'd like to sun bathe nude that's impossible at a public pool but make no mistake that I do expose as much as I can get away with to my own comfort and I have plenty of flesh to expose as my own personal solar panels! *grins* Yes, I use sun block, all summer long in fact. I begin at a 30 SPF, using that for at least the first full month before I gradually step down to a 15, 8 then 4 by the end of the summer. I hate to burn and I don't want skin cancer. I'm a natural born red head so my skin is fair. That's fine for the non summer months; I give my skin that time to heal for what I put it through during the summer. The contrast of how pale my skin isn't tanned to that which is will be incredibly striking. (Again, here's the reason why I so wish I could sunbath nude because I hate how stark the contrast is from the exposed skin to where my suit covers me) Being a redhead I don't tan to brown skin. I do get dark but my skin always has a coppery red tone. No matter how tan I am when I've been in the sun for any length of time I glow red for the first few hours after I get out of the sun. I think my auburn hair just emphasizes the coppery hue of my skin too. I'd be rich if I had a dollar for every time someone has been startled when they looked at me and told me I'd gotten burnt when I hadn't. I've gotten to the point that I actually avoid going into places after time outside just to keep from hearing the repetition!
Anyway, I get a bit crazed for opening weekend. I've already got my bag packed up with all the essentials. Any other year I'd be cracking the whip to get us all out the door to be one of the first in line for when the gates opened. This year will be a bit different. My son has to work so we'll have to drop him off early in the morning and shortly after that we'll be heading to my nephew's high school graduation. *smile* Let that be a measurement of how much I love my nephew that I would think nothing of being late the first day of pool season to be there for him where we're the last things he'll even care about! Of course I'll only be about an hour and a half late for the pool at the most and one of the pool family will hold us a couple chairs… *laughs* Like I said, I have this very well planned out! My son will get off work and join us at the pool later if he wants, we'll be there the whole day every day this coming weekend. After that the pool won't begin regular season hours till the following weekend and at that point I'll be there any time I don't have other obligations. During the week my husband will meet me there once he gets off work. I will have taken the bus there in the morning so the only time we'll expend extra for gas is during the weekends.Ah yes, now there's an interesting aspect of the summer, public transportation… I'm fortunate that my town has a fairly extensive bus system. It gets me where I need to go overall. The people who use it are an interesting blend. I like to observe people, they're a fascinating enigma and I enjoy the mental exercise of puzzling out their actions and behaviors. So the summer gives me the chance to indulge in my greatest pleasure as well as sharpen my senses and skills all at the same time. *grins* One of those will inevitably be fending off the advances of total strangers. Ah summer heat – it strikes in more ways than one! I am oh so glad that it's again here at last!!!

*EEB - A Bedtime Story for a Hot Summer Night (09-06-2007)

I have written for as long as I can remember. About anything and everything. It's been my sanity, my sounding board and my release throughout life. One of my favorite things to write, when need of a bit of extra release of those um, creative juices is required, is erotica. I don't just toss it off in quickie fashion, I like to embellish with as many nuances as I can get in them. I try to write so that my reader is right there with me. (in the case or erotica that's a VERY good thing! *wink*) I also can't write it at the spur of the moment so no requests please. I do find it easier to write when I have a muse. This is a piece that I started last year and have only tonight felt properly inspired and motivated to complete. I hope you enjoy it!
Her heart and body aches with the tenderness and passion she feels as her gaze touches every beautiful inch of your still form. She hungrily peruses you while you sleep, her eyes caressing your nude body - relaxed, tranquil; uncovered by the sheet pushed to the side on a warm night. The windows open, allowing the cool night breeze to roll over you like a gentle tide. So deeply you sleep that you're unaware of the woman standing so still beside your bed, that curvaceous silhouette against the glow of the moonlit window. She stands, watching the rise and fall of your chest as you breathe deeply. Her body almost ethereal with iridescent light as she strokes lightly over her tight pink pebble hard nipples standing out on her ample breasts then following the line of an hourglass waist to the generous curve of her hip then on to the smooth mons below. Her shapely body gives evidence of the development of her sex. She is formed as a woman, not a teen age child. Startling pale blue eyes glow with a silvery light as she observes you greedily. How dare she want you so much… yet she does so with an overwhelming intensity she's never felt before. She can't control the desire that leaps like a living thing within her to claw ravenously at her insides as she silently breathes your name. Her gaze traces the long defined leg that is nearest her, the strength of the long muscles - an athlete's power, the reverse bell shape line of your hip bone emphasizing the place where your deceptively still member rests, the tan line evidence of where the sun had been allowed fortune to kiss, the flat sculpted surface of your stomach beckoning her caressing gaze to gently touch then rise higher. Twin tips stood out against heavily carved mounds of velvety flesh covering steel - she lingered on the gold ring that pierced the left point. A sigh fell from her parted lips. Continuing to follow the path she visually touches the sensual curve of your neck to your handsome face. Finely trimmed hair darkening your chiseled jaw and emphasized the fullness of that generous, welcoming mouth that could be so gentle and so demanding, eyelids hiding in sleep penetrating lapis pools she'd gladly drown in. Your long hair fanning the pillow showing glints of gold where sunlight had ran her fingers through it. A smile curved her parted lips but her fingers felt the rampant desire spilling forth from her center as she continued to play amongst her secret sacred garden. You are so peaceful as you sleep but she is set to rouse not only the man but the passion that she so easily sees lying banked just below the surface whenever she encounters you. She would stoke the flame and glory in the boundless rapturous consumption he promised.
She pulled her hands away from her wetness, sucking a finger into her mouth, tasting the evidence of her desire for you, wanting to add to it the flavor of your passions. She sat gently on the edge of the bed, silently reaching out to softly caress the nipple ring, allowing her finger tips to send a light vibration that your body readily responded to even in sleep. As the nipple contracted the ring was pulled upwards to stand at attention, asking for more. Her lips and tongue replace her fingers -- warm, wet and supple, urging the peak to hold out the ring in provocative incentive. You moan in your sleep, responsively moving your hand to the back of her head. She smiles over her task, needing no more encouragement. She moves to her knees beside you, wanting to trace your body with her hands and mouth. As she feathers light, balmy kisses and licks over your skin you slowly awake, a smile curving your mouth as you watch her with a smoldering radiance burnishing your eyes to a deeper blue. She hears the change in your breathing, she is so aware of you she can even detect so small a change. She looks up, shades of contrary blue igniting indigo flames as both pairs of eyes search the others face, needing to connect more than just physically. "Is this a dream?" she sighs, "I've been imagining this for so long… This has to be real…" As if to confirm the solidity of her senses she moves towards your face, lips parted as her breathing comes hot from her lips, her pulse visibly racing in her veins, her breasts lightly sliding over your chest so that you are both aware of the hard peaks being stimulated even more as they make bare contact with each other. You raise your hands, putting your fingers deep into the fiery auburn tresses of her long hair, stroking either side of her face with your thumbs as you draw her mouth to yours for a languid kiss, lips tormenting, coaxing an escalating response, sighs of pleasure issuing and blending from between two pairs of lips. She begins kissing the outside corners of your smile then tracing your lips with the sweet wet tip of her tongue teasingly till you suck it into your mouth, bringing her lips into deeper contact to your own. The kiss intensifies, tongues licking, dancing together, tasting the sweetness offered so willingly, igniting carnal hungers that demand fulfillment. Her long hair tickling sensuously where ever it touches as mouths challenge each other to explore their depths.
As much as she loves kissing you her appetite builds to taste more of you. With a soft moan she begins by kissing your eyelids gently closed, moving to kiss along the tickling, cushioning fur of your jaw line, her hot breath in your ear sending an electrical shock of pleasure washing over your body as she traces the curve of your ear lobe with her tongue before next trailing slowly down the arch of your neck. You groan as an intense wave of pleasure grips you and races up your spin as you press your head back into the softness of the pillow allowing her to feel your pulse quicken under her tormenting lips as she finds the dip at the base of your throat. Her persistent lips play over your collar bone before descending again to your nipple ring. Your hands have found the fullness of her breasts, lifting and weighing their supple heaviness in your palms, fingers rolling then flicking the pink buds into aching attention. She sighs with wanton approval at your touch. Her nursing becoming stronger as she circled each peak with her tongue before taking it between her lips and biting gently, hearing you moan with delight. Her fingernails trace circles over your sides that make you writhe with delight against her touch but she eases each tortured path by following with her mouth as she continues to trail down over your stomach. She wants to explore every inch of you, find all the places that heat your blood to fever pitch. She especially likes the reaction she gets as she traces then licks those wonderful hip bones. The skin is so close to the bone that the nerve endings jump in anticipation of her caress. "Hmmm…" comes her seductive approving sound. Your hands have been tracing her sides, soothing her back, fondling her breasts then tweaking her nipples and beginning to explore lower but she moves away from you, standing to walk with a sensual swaying, an alluring grace, to the bottom of the bed, taking each of your feet in her hands, massaging, stretching, maneuvering them in a relaxing way. Just as you close your eyes in appreciation she traces a fingernail up the instep of each foot. Your eyes fly open to see her grinning at you mischievously and you can't help but smile back. "Playing now are we?" a glint of mischief lighting your own eyes. "Oh no, just exploring…" she smiles. Next she kneels between your calves, running a hand up each leg - fingers grazing calmly over excited tissue, again stopping to tickle just behind your knees. You chuckle, "You know you're going to get it for that…" "Oh I very well intend to and very soon!" she said with a face flushed with her most eager smile and earnest intent to do just that. Her warm palms kneading the heavy muscles of your thighs; advance stimulus to the ecstasy that rocks your body as her mouth follows. Alternating between each leg she licks, tickles, lightly bites, and teases her way upwards, her tongue licking white hot flames over your skin as she advances.
She kneels between your knees, leaning forward so that her breasts swing heavily before she nestles them to either side of your pulsing cock, pillowing it between the generous mounds then pressing them together to form a warm deep valley. She moves her soft flesh over your shaft, tipping her head to capture the precum that glistens on the tip with each stroke. Her desire to taste you more fully has her moving back to lie between your legs, head resting on your thigh as she strokes your engorged staff and sack lightly with the barest of touches from her painted fingertips. The dark tips make a sexy contrast as they slide teasing over your jumping, contracting flesh. Her mouth follows her hands, licking softly, fluttering wickedly to make you moan and squirm beneath her skilled manipulations.
"Oh I want to eat you alive…" Desperate need filling her voice. Once said she engulfs your cock deeply in her hot demanding mouth, her hands caressing tantalizing patterns over twitching muscles and tissue. Squeezing strokes of rod and tickling fingers just behind the tightening balls have you sucking in air like a happily dying man. Her mouth takes the place of her hands and you gasp at the passionate assault, leaning up to hypnotically watch and take wondrous pleasure in your own devouring. Her hair falling in a gauzy curtain that conceals her passion filled face as she worships with her mouth the root of your masculinity. You want to see her face, want to watch the havoc of desire awash on her continence. You gently tuck the long hair behind her earlobe. Her eyes are closed, cheeks flushed bright with the fever of desire, her lips ovaled and pressed tight against the shaft of your cock as you watch your hardness sliding in and out, going deeper with each stroke. You can feel her tongue pressing tight and wide along the underside ridge as you move in then fluttering over the top as you move outward. Her mouth is like hot wet velvet encasing you, her tongue like sun warmed silky rose petals dancing against your flesh. You watch her, her intoxication in giving you pleasure infusing your own heightened reactions. She feels your eyes upon her, hears your deep breaths coming between teeth clenched in desperate control as you feel the increased tightening of her lips as they twitch with her answering smile as her eyes slowly open to gaze back at you. Oh she knows the effect she's having and she knew that the very instant her eyes met yours she had sealed the casting of her magic over you. Iced blue fire circling dark pupils widened in lustful abandon coaxing you to catapult into their scorching depths. Shock waves echo out from her eyes and envelope you, your body trembles and quakes in answer to the tidal pull of the magnetism between you. She raises her mouth, never breaking the eye contact as she lashes the tip of your cock with her pink tongue, letting you see how it dips and swirls around your blooming flesh, before taking you fully into her devouring mouth. You feel the tide rising, feel the control you were clinging to so desperately ripping away. You're muscles tense, body building to sweet torturous crescendo, breathing in short gasps. It was like imploding then exploding, like going nova… The odd stray thought burst into your mind as your body immolates the event on its own heart pounding scale. Your hands are buried in her silky hair, your hips rock, and your eruptions spilling into her greedy throat in answer to her commanding eagerness. She is milking you with both hands, her mouth wide to catch every creamy squirt before sucking you in, taking all you give, moaning approvingly at your passionate release.
Your body glows in the dim light of the moonlit room as perspiration films your overheated, sensitive skin. You reach out your arms to her, needing to feel her pressed against the length of you to try to steady the tremors that still quake your body. You pull her to lie pressed tight to your side, kissing her deeply, tasting yourself lingering in the sweet nectar of her mouth. She strokes you slowly with her fingertips feeling your body tremor, knowing that the sensitivity of your skin is still excessively heightened to her touch.
"You're the dream." Your voice deep and raspy over unsteady breaths.
She purrs contentedly, "Mmm, if I am then can you have me every night…?" A smile spills across her face in remembering.
You lean up onto one arm, caressing her breast and rolling her nipple between your fingers, "I wonder how many times I can have the same dream in one night," your smile reflects back to you from her, "let's find out…"
Your hand caresses the abundant mound of her breast as you lower your mouth to lick the nipple standing at erotic attention then sucking the point deep into your mouth before releasing it only to nibble and pull at it with gentle teeth. She hums in sensual approval. Her skin smells of a heady soft spice that fills your lungs and mind. Her skin is smooth and pale as cream. Your hand strokes her hair as the other milks the pink tip into your mouth. Nursing oh so sensually yet hungrily demanding. Her hand tangles now in your long hair; tendrils caressingly curling around her fingers, the other stroking your face as she watches captivated as her flesh is consumed and she moans rhythmically. You move your arms behind her back to pull her softness into the hard expanse of the iron wall of your chest before claiming title to her mouth. So deep is the kiss that when after a long while it is broken both pant as if surfacing from some unfathomable depth. She has become something untamable under your marauding hands. Eyes glaze, panting breaths making her breasts rise and fall quickly, sinuously twisting body trying to crawl into your never near enough embrace. You stroke your hand down her body to her core. At first touch her hips thrust forward and your hand is full of her sacred flower's nectar. You dip your fingers inside her, fondle the engorged bud then bring your fingers back to your mouth to taste her sweetness.
"Mmm, like wine…," you whisper, "and I'm so thirsty for just this vintage." You kiss her deeply again, letting her taste her own arousal. You move between thighs that you gently push wider apart and she pulls up her knees - surrendering to your erogenous explorations. You kiss the smooth soft flesh of her shaved mons then trace the full lips of her labia torturously slow with your tongue. She arches her back, moaning, her head lulling from side to side as her passion builds. You place both of your hands under the soft curve of her ass, pulling her hips forward so that you can fasten you mouth over her sex and fuck her weeping slit with your tongue. She cries out and clenches your hair in her fists and pulls your head harder between her thighs, grinding her hips against your invading tongue. You want this to last, want to fill her with more than just your tongue. Your cock has reasserted its need. It's hard and twitching to be sheathed in her welcoming body. You release her hips but you gently and slowly insert a slickened finger into her tight hot ass and watch appreciatively as she wriggles again it with new sensation. You can see the clenching spasms beginning at the mouth of her velvet walls. The shining swollen bud draws your attention and your tongue circles and caresses the sensitive, slippery pearl before your lips clamp around it, sucking it in and out as she grinds hard into your mouth. Your tongue dips into the dripping orchid of her sex as your fingers continue to roll her engorged clit, causing her to quake in response. Then you slide one, then two, then three long fingers into those clenching folds, finding then stroking that secret spot towards the front of her pelvic wall.
"Oh please, I'm so ready! I'm going to cum, oh GOD I'm going to cum for you…!" she groans, face and body tense, wild and beautiful beyond imagining at the height of her passion.
"No, not yet!", you growl as you quickly rise to your knees then leaning over her trembling body to sink the full length and breadth of your cock deep into her soft flesh. She cries out with pure pleasure at the fullness of your plundering shaft pressing, expanding and impaling her body to yours. She raises her hips to meet your powerful thrusts, each stroke carrying you deeper into her center. Your hands pull her hips into yours as you increase the rhythm of this most primal of all dances. You raise one of her legs to your shoulder to allow you to pound deeper into her grasping hole and both of your hands meet at the swollen red pearl of her clit while her other hand caresses her breasts, pulling her nipples between her fingertips then pulling her breast up to suck the taunt pink bud between her own lips. Your eyes are locked with hers, both spliced through your genitals and eyes in one continuous circle. The ultimate symbol of passion. The din of groans, heavy breathing, slapping wet bodies and erotic encouragements fill the air, ever growing in intensity and pitch till she sings her glorious song of release and you respond in perfect harmonious kind. Bodies heaving clasped so tightly in bliss so that it's impossible to distinguish where one begins and the other ends…To be continued in your dreams….(feel free to comment)

*EEB - Her Beast (09-13-2006)

Her Beast
VJM 9.12.2006

With tears borne of the pain of restraint
The beast wakes
One name, one face, one thought, one word
The chains break
Writhing in sensuous unquenchable heat
Tis her fate?
To burn for her need, his touch, her release
In primal state
She is starved for the feast he tantalizingly offers
Will she sate?
Or go mad wanting in tormented carnal abyss
Never to abate

Her appetites deepen each time she awakes
Yearning's greed
To devour his being – heart, soul, mind and flesh
In luxurious feed
Ingnorant bliss of imminent peril with which he flirts
Dare he proceed?
Is he willing, worthy and able to endure indigo flame,
A kindred breed?
Is there one to quench such an unbearable thirst
Lascivious need
Must she battle her demons alone till they wane yet
Desire coital deed

Body tense, pulsating to a primitive beat
Voracious lust
Torment of wanting fulfillment complete
Sensations combust
Mind orchestrates body in passion's dance
To frenzied thrust
Rapturous sacred hymn of the pinnacle
To sing robust…
She laments her agony of desires unspent
To fates unjust
Restraining then chaining again her beast

As tears die in dust

*EEB - Mind Sex (02-02-2006)

EEB means Earlier Edition Blog... I am beginning this blog by moving my previous posts from Yahoo 360 & MySpace here so that everything is in one central area. I'm sad that I couldn't transfer my comments along with the posts because some of the people who posted them are very important to me and so what they had to say was as well. I must be content to at least have them still embedded in the file that Yahoo was so kind enough to create for me before 360 went belly up.

It is also likely that with Yahoo playing censor to anything that has an hint of an adult nature that I will also have to remove any blogs that I have on their new profile pages and keep them here because I often write things of that kind and I'm not willing to let Yahoo have an excuse to remove my account because I refuse to curtail my freedom of expression. So if you've come to this blog by redirection through Yahoo then welcome! I hope you enjoy my posts!

Let's begin...

Thursday February 02 2006 Mind Sex
Current mood: naughty
Category: Writing and Poetry

Im an 18 year old boy At least Im feeling what I suspect 18 year old guys feel like as far as the amount of time that they think about sex. Being forty five isnt all that bad in that department! *grin* The problem is that I often feel sexually restless and I am married to a man who has little sexual imagination. To be fair, since I have an overabundance, my judgment is most likely a bit askew. Before I start getting volunteers to expand my horizons let me tell you - its not gonna happen! He may not be Mr. Thrills-a-minute but he has a lot of other things going for him that makes him worth keeping around. Hes not perfect but theres not a soul out there who is, including me, yet he'd take me on my worst day than anyone else on their best. Besides, Ive put way too much time, effort and energy into this relationship (21 years married and 30 years of knowing each other yes, we met in our mid teens) to throw it away on just anyone and I would never do to him what I wouldnt want done to me (And since this still isnt a female centered polygamist society and I cant yet have my harem of men Ill keep what I have.) That said let me go on to explain that there are other ways of working out my sexual frustrations - my wonderful imagination and writing! (There are, of course, other, shall we say - hands on ways but this is what you get to see! *evil grin*) Seeing that the brain is the largest sex organ then lets say I like to engage in mental masturbation!

I LOVE a fine, tall, heavily cut muscular/fit man! Oh but along with the body he has to have a mind and attitude to match. Another aspect of getting older is that it takes a hell of a lot more to get my attention than a mans penis. Lets face it, you guys have all got em and from my experience most are more than willing to show them off. (And sometimes I'm more than willing to take my time having a peek) Some know how to orchestrate that instrument more skillfully than others and some have more impressive instruments to play with (Before you ask yes, size does matter. I've got more cushion for pushin so it takes length and girth to move my earth!) But gentlemen, if thats all it took I'd simply go buy some more toys to add to my collection, they're much less complicated and I can buy whatever size suits my fancy for the moment. *grin* But I'm attracted to the whole package - whats between a mans ears excites me just as much, if not more, than whats between his legs. My ultimate fantasy is to be the cream filling in an Oreo sandwich between Avery Brooks and Keith Hamilton Cobb, two beautifully articulate, physically glorious males. (I love to be talked to during sex so a range of sensuality and vocabulary fuel my fire) I also love to discuss ideology, current events, human nature, and the possibility of impossibilities so I enjoy a man who is mentally my equal. One who can not only accompany me on my avenues of thought but challenge me to explore the virgin landscape where new paths are made.
Ok, back to the sex thing *smile* Im a very sensual person. That doesn't mean only in the bedroom. I define sensuality as all those things that excite your senses. Tasting, touching, seeing, hearing and smelling. I love the smell of dry autumn leaves, sun warmed coconut oil and chlorine by the pool, a man wearing a fine fragrance just makes me want to smell and taste his skin. The taste of a fine Belgium chocolate truffle melting in my mouth, the crisp sweet pop of biting into a Rainier cherry, warm flesh in the heat of passion. The sound of laughter, sexy undulating music, the sound of a deep voice whispering naughty encouragements in my ear. Watching the awesome power of a raging thunderstorm, the unique glory of a sunset, the thrilling contrast of hard over soft skin body textures. The first warm breeze of spring caressing my face and ruffling my hair, the cool enveloping buoyant water of the pool on a sizzling summer day, the feel of velvet over steel of warm skin over hard muscle. Anyway, you get the idea. *grin*
You might also deduce from reading that last bit that my mind works of a very descriptive level, which gets me easily caught up into that very thing that has brought me to writing this in the first place how much I think about sex. I get distracted very easily when my mind starts to run out sexcapades after viewing that sexy soap couple and I'm playing it out where now I'm in her shoes or stockings as the case may be. I look at a picture of an attractive man and I get lost imagining exploring his body starting with that sexy dip at the base of his throat thats just begging for me to trace it with the tip of my tongue. Anyway, I like smooth sensuality.
I also have a taste for the hard core stuff too. I love watching porn but not the typical kind with varying partners exploiting their agility by concocting as many positions as they can contort their bodies into, I like the kind that builds the heat like a crescendo by teasing me into wanting the gifted fellow to pound her to oblivion and see her loving every minute of it. I love the primal heat of watching a man laying siege, conquering the woman into surrendering to her own base needs and carnal ambitions where to his surprise and both their pleasures he finds a fiercely equal partner to his own raw lust. Hmm, thinking on that, I can't recall ever actually seeing that in any porn outside my own minds eye but I sure as hell wish I could! Pictures of sex have never done a thing for me, there has to be movement and even better if theres sound. Amateur video is usually better than the professional stuff because amateurs havent learned how to contrive their pleasure in whatever they are doing. They are still as spontaneous as whatever impulse they had to make the video in the first place.

I sometimes wonder if other women feel these things. Do they sometimes find themselves so sexually high strung that they feel like a wild thing is clawing at their insides close to being a rage that they have to keep caged or it would consume them. Even when they do have sex do they feel like not even the surface has been scratched or satisfied? Of course there are ebbs and flows so that I'm not always a lust crazed fiend. Being female I'm used to riding the hormonal trapeze but it seems the older I get the higher it swings to the extreme side of obsession with sex, or at least that heightened awareness of the sensual. Its rather like having a layer stripped away and being hypersensitive yet craving the sensations
I think I'll go write some erotica now I need to give the little beastie in there an outlet for a while... Let me know your thoughts!