PMs

PMs




I have been wanting to do this for years so here it goes… The best & the worst along with some of the common & overused!

(all names have been left out unless they are relevant to the pm its self)





hello u see my clock

(Funny typo, but no thanks. Think this may be where they came up with that old saying “half past a monkey’s ass & a quarter till his balls? Hmm”)



i also read some of ur blog posts and was wondering if u would be willing to sit on my couch and answer some questions while i analyze you?

(At least this one was creative though I’m not going near that couch, I suspect ulterior motives.)



nice naked man on cam here. would you like to watch?

(These are never really personal, they don’t care who it is as long as they have an audience. I’m way more selective in my viewing choices *grins*)



Hi sexy thing, kiss kiss...whats going on this fine morning doll face?

(Had this been said in the room I might have at least said hi but no, he had to take it to a box & I don’t pm with people I don’t know. And only one person gets to call me doll damnit!)



looks like you've been good to me santa loves pretty blue eyes

(Blue eyes mean good? So does that mean anyone with other colored eyes are bad? Ok folks, thank you, I get it, I have pretty eyes but really, it was no effort on my part & I can tell you that I wish they were half as good at looking as they are at looking good. Bitter irony here, those who know me or who’ve read my other blogs know what I’m referring to. But I should give him some credit here, he was polite enough to comment on the eyes and not go for the other obvious choice)



does the fantasy of being kidnapped, tied, gagged and used excite you?

(No but the one of me beating your ass really hard for a long time with a baseball bat has suddenly become incredibly appealing…)



From Nicen_hard… hi, what are you looking for

(Not you)



you are walking up the driveway and see me packing some bags into the car... I smile at you .. hey honey ... I tell you your mom had to go out of town .. and that i thought you and i could go on a trip together.. what do you think honey ???

(Ok, scenarios are at least creative but this sick fuck isn’t talking about his wife or girlfriend, his little role play is twisted around incest with his daughter. This man needs psychological attention or his ass beat, not access to a computer. There are a lot of sexual interests I get and even encourage – this is NOT one of them)



you have a beautiful vioce do you like to chat?

(Thank you but um, I am in a chat room chatting right? Am I missing something here? Nope, he was.)



m or f (&) asl

(Two of the laziest damned posts that can be made & my biggest chat pet peeve. I have spent the time to fill out a profile, even have more damned info in it than most want to know. Why the bloody hell am I going to waste my time telling these idiots a damned thing or anything else if they can’t even take the time to look at it if only just to see whether or not I’m male or female! These two little posts are instant tickets to having their asses tossed into the super iggy bin where they belong.)



From Dirtyperv… Show me your cunt and tits so I can jerk this fat shaven cock and blow my first load of the day all over you.

(Really? Does that ever really work? Jackwagon. Go ahead, hold your breath till I show you want you want to see… keep holding… )



From man_in_black62: hi 25m here from greece.oiled close up cock and balls on cam for females. i got a big load for a lady.hurry up!

(Well, if you’re depending on me to come see so you can cum those balls of yours are going to go from blue to black & fall off. Obviously only brain working here is the one between his legs rather than his ears if that one actually even exists, sadly common on Yahoo)



u fuking hot

(next)

for 50

(Don’t ya just love a qualifier? And yes damnit, I AM hot for 50 but I don’t require his affirmations, especially since what makes me hottest he’ll never comprehend. Another village idiot off wandering the internet…)



hi. interested in a perverted Xmas roleplay?

(Um, NO! Though I do find a bit of sadistic pleasure in imagining him with an aluminum Christmas tree up his ass… *that one’s for you Frankie!* ;) )



do you like mmf 3some fantasies??

(Even if I do why the hell do you even possibly think I’m going to talk to you about it?)



ANY MOM HERE???

(Yet more incest BS. You have to wonder if these people are fixated on people who are close to them who have to love them because they’re family because they can’t sustain a real & healthy relationship outside of that. I just don’t get this whole idea. If someone reminds me of any family member at all my head doesn’t even almost see them sexually. No appeal at all.)



pardon the interruption, but what a lovely picture

(These are nice, just a simple compliment, no trolling involved. Him I would have talked to had he said this IN THE ROOM!)



wow great pics mo your hot

(Again, nice to have someone take the time to pay a compliment without expecting change back for having done so)



hey mo do u ever accept IMs?

(After getting my automated answer that says that I have PMs turned off because I keep my chatting in the room only…)

k that answers that lol

(I do respect a person who gets it the first time around. If he’d talk to me in the room I’d talk back. Unfortunately so many go into the rooms, lurk there & only send PMs as if anyone there is going to answer someone they’ve not been given a chance to even almost get to know.)



daddy needs to talk to you

(Grrrr!!!)



when was the last time you were fucked hard

(None of your damned business! I’m no prude so it’s not the question that offends me, it’s the person asking it. Under the right circumstances with the right person this would be hot! But why the hell would anyone think this is something they can ask & get an answer to from someone they don’t know?)



hi 30 M dad here

(He then got my auto message yet continued…)

and u?

(Again, the disturbing trend continues. What relevance is the fact he’s a father have? And why do they bother to send messages to people they don’t know?)



Cleverone27: want to play with a big hard cock

(Was that supposed to be clever? Don’t know where the hell he’s getting his definitions but I’m thinking he needs to change his name to AssHat)



very sexy!!! do u cam 2 cam??

(See, one who wants change back for paying a compliment… not happening)



do you like sex and sex pics?

(Am I breathing? But the more important question… am I going to share it with you? NO!!!)



sexy pictures :P. we share the same bday ;)

(Thank you and that’s nice…)



hey there are you busy?

(My typing in the room isn’t indicator enough? Perhaps my not answering was.)



Hi im Bob 28 married m in nc, you?

(Again, read a damned profile!)



you f looking?

(OMG! English lessons from Tarzan? The stupidity never ends!)



22/m/tx, is that alright for you?

(This young man breaks my number one rule, I don’t talk to guys younger than my son.)



hi miss i lov riding huge dildos on cam:">

(Now isn’t that a special talent to be proud of…)



youre not really 50, right?

(Though I do like the fact that when people find out how old I am they never believe me, I can’t understand why anyone would put an age on their profile like that if it wasn’t true. I mean people say they’re younger than they are all the time but older? Come on folks, just put a moments thought into that. The only time people every say they are older than they really are is when they’re not yet legal! So way past that!)



you really dont look 50, good job lol

(OK, ty but I’m not really working too hard not to look 50…)



mo bounce indeed!

(There are many times that I regret taking on the mantle of this ID, an old Zapp song that I enjoyed & related to, since there is more to me than the just the “bounce” but I’ve had it so long that I can’t see changing it now but those who know me, and there are many, just call me Mo…)



lovely lovlies my dear

(OK, vague & inclusive enough not to be offensive)



34M chicago w/cam...If you like big COCK'S come play with mine!

(Don’t you just love the way he puts cock all in caps like that’s supposed to let you know how big it is? He can cap cocks but not Chicago? AND he gives it ownership rather than plurality. LOL and by the end he’s so excited with himself that he exclaims it! Come on folks, find humor where ya can, right?)



hi 21/m how are u?

(Again, younger than my son)



shear beauty indeed:)

(yes, it’s a nice complement but his kind of shear leaves me entirely hairless, not translucent)



From HarleyRK2008: hi m52 usa

(next)

u cum yet?

(what, was I supposed to cream just because he pmed me?)



bounce is good

(Yes I am & it is)



do you have a nice thick phat ass?

(Yes, and you can admire it as I walk away…)



alone ?

(In a virtual room full of people and not playing in boxes so, um, no…)



you like getting worked really nasty dont you

(Sure I do, that’s why I work for the IRS during tax season)



yoiur hot to be 50 you have very pretty eyes

(Ah, a combination of two of the previous PMs, I so miss creativity)



hi , 32 male + cam here , NY

(So?)



comes from the back, slowly lifts ur skirt and slaps ur ass hard

(Turns around, lays my hand over your cock, grips firmly as I smile a slow, naughty smile before I yank that crank like an old car)



hello...19 male kansas...how are you?

(Hell, betting this one doesn’t even have chest hair yet. Go home pup, you’re momma still needs to clean the milk off your face)



Hello......would you like to chat? 35/male/usa with a mic and cam sitting here playing with myself

(Well hell, if you’re playing with yourself what the hell do you need me for? You’re gonna do that with or without me!)



like to roleplay? horny?

(Yes I do, yes I am but NOT with you!)



hello mobounce. what brought you online tonight? do yu enjoy roleplaying wild scenes or just chatting?

(I believe I got here by way of my ISP, I could be wrong, it may have been the aliens, who knows but I somewhat recall something about an anal probe…? Hmm, might just be imagining things though. And again, am I not in a chat room chatting? Why pose questions that answer themselves?)



do u think most women would want 2 men at once? like men want 2 women,,etc

(Maybe, depends on her mood & how versatile they can be)



hi mo, do you like the idea of having a cuckold?

(no, I don’t care for the idea of ‘getting over’ on anyone. I’m not that inconsiderate or uncaring as to set out to hurt another person whether I am with him or not. Should I feel the need to be with another you can bet I’d finish the first relationship before involving someone else at that level That’s what adults do. I’m a long term kind of person, I do not take relationships casually)



naughty?nice?both?

(who the hell is just one or the other? We’re all both!)



Dominant male 30. Intellectual and down to earth. Looking for a submissive a willing female 18+.

(Hahahahahahaahhhaaaaa! Submissive? Me? Nope!)



hello how are you? are you into detailed ageplay? i'm jesse 50 m ca i'm looking for someone who is into detailed ageplays where you play as my young daughter and it is your brithday this weekend and were going to spend it together at my new house in the city. i'm on my way down to pick you up from your mothers house but what you don't know is that i have a big surprise for you waiting for you at my new house just for you.

(I have a surprise for you too Daddy, before you came to pick me up I called the show “to catch a preditor” and they’ve set a hidden camera up at your place… See, I can play let’s pretend too!)



hi older male nude on cam wan to play

(Why is it when I read this suddenly the voice & image of Herbert from Family Guy popped into my head…?)



may i ask if u r married and white

(yes & only during non pool season)



strokin y?

(I suppose the y was supposed to be short for ‘you?’ But I think short for ‘why?’ is the better question)



I love your looks

(gee, thanks. God knows I wouldn’t want to be someone walking the earth who was a displeasure to your eyes… Like I really give a flying fuck)



u a milf

(no, that’d be my sister, I prefer adult males who share common interests with me, not my son)



hello where you from ?

(he gets my message about only chatting in the room…)

no to much drama havea good day

(were there soap opera auditions in the room that day that I didn’t know about? Ah well, I’m sure he wasn’t part of the union anyway…)





wanna play with us? couple here on cam...interested?

(no)



Good evening. Are you interested in some intellectual, humorous and perhaps erotic chat (seducing the mind can be nearly as pleasureable as seducing the body)? 47 and married

(Yes I certainly do enjoy those kinds of conversations, yes I do agree but I am a hell of a lot more selective about my companion for such ventures. I must then decline the invitation, thank you.)



hey there sexy how would you like to see a picture of my hard cock as i tell you what i would love to do to you with it?

(At least the one before knew that it’s what’s between the ears that counts first & most rather than what’s between a guys legs. Doubt this one will ever get that epiphany even if someone smacks him in the head with his camera & besides, he wants to send a pic? Betting the cock in it isn’t even his!)



hi do u want to see somthing very hot?

(about as close as he’ll get to hot is if he strikes a match)



sad rooms these theres just no sexcitement in em :(----- how i miss those fetish rooms mmmmmmmm they wur the rooms ;)

(yes they were but the one I was in had pretty much the same conversations as we do here with just a bit more spice now & then. *grins*)



Certainly more to you than just 'mo bounce', so please accept my compliments and kindness. *Wink*

(Another one that is a pleasure to receive)



let me bounce them

(Sure, right after I crack those)



are u horny tonite..?

(as a Tijuana brass band but not for you)



Hello : are you interested in chat with a fun, older man ? artist, nudist, single

(I’m just curious how many more adjectives he can use before he covers it all)



Your my young teen girlfriend from a really rough violent neighbourhood, everytime you come over to my place its the same bullshit..we argue..and you resist..but I always end up fucking you up the ass..you hate it..it makes you feel really uncomfortable..you fucking hate yourself for always letting me do it..this saturday its different, your determined not to take it up the ass!..i open my front door.. towering huge over you..staring to your already scowling face caked in make-up..i smirk down seeing you pissed

(I whip out the small pistol I’d had hidden in my shorts pocket, shove it into your now non smirking face, march you to the bedroom where I cuff you bent over the hot water radiator in the corner. I break a half empty bottle of whiskey I’d found sitting on your table at your bare feet to keep you from moving them as I then roughly drag your shorts down over your ass. “You’re gonna remember this night fucker!” I yell as I pull down the front of my own shorts, letting you see the big dry strap on cock that I got just for you. Your face goes from red fury to pale then green as what I’m going to do really sinks in. I can see you’re thinking about yelling but I ask sweetly, “You sure you want to be found like this?” Your mouth snaps shut. I can see you’re the one pissed now & I smile as I walk up behind you, spit on the crack of your ass & use the head of the cock to smear it down to your virgin hole before I plow into you. “Tonight you’re MY bitch fucker!”)



hi there, do you like to watch guys stroke on cam?

(I have & I do but again, not you!)



my gf42 and i m32 are looking for a gf,hello

(Try Craigslist)



wanna c my cock cum?

(Does this mean he’s masturbating the rooster again?)



you in ohio?.... by toledo?

(Checks profile to make sure, yep, Ohio, Southwest – no where near Toledo you geographical fuckwit)



take a peek,,,u'll enjoy

(I enjoyed it more not have looked but you can pretend I did if you’d like)



i near OH too how u?

(Somehow I doubt he means anywhere here in the US)



hello care to chat (He got my message &…) nope sorry im better that that

(Some just don’t want to deal with the bots but this one thinks he’s too good to talk in the room, hmm)



*You are a young peasant girl. I am a Nobel. One day as I am riding though your village on my horse, I spot you doing some work. I ride up to you and ask, "Wench! Why are you crying???". You reply that your family's crop failed and that you are going hungry. I then reply, "Really??? I will be willing to give you loaf of bread if you prove to me that you are REALLY hungry. Prove to me that you are desperate enough to eat my cummmmmm........*

(I’d rather shoot the horse that way I can feed my whole family)



hi mom, what are you up too? sitting down on the couch next to you

(Hi son, you have too much free time on your hands I see, GET A JOB!)



19m with pics...Looking for an older F;) Hi

(Baby pictures, go away kid, ya bother me!)



Hello. I am 48, male, Iowa. Experienced Master seeking a lady that LONGS to be developed as an online sub. Would that be you?

(LMAO! Another comedian in the house! Is it pro/am night here at the chat room comedy club?)



a dirty slut?

(oh! A word game right?! Umm, lemme guess, opposites… a clean nun? What are we playing for?)



Hi how r u? 36/m/ca R u curious in being a slave?

(Hmm, think this question was ever asked of those through history who were slaves? And if so, think my answer would be any different than theirs would have been had they been asked?)



you definietly have big ones like my sis

(Then go message her! Leave me the hell alone)



jacking off on cam.....do u like/want to watch

(there’s an original activity – no thanks)



hey you in to gangbangs, bukkakes, incest, animals or mic/phonesex?

(Alex, I’ll take F… None of the above.)



are you married and horny

(Aren’t those synonymies?)



I like to tie your hands behind your back as i rip your cloths off u and kiss your open mouth

(Again, could be the lead in to an interesting scenario with someone I wanted to play this game with but he doesn’t go into chat rooms, probably what I like best about him)



18 m from boston love older women

(Ewwww!! Creepy! No Appeal! Dude, get a damned life! Get off the computer & live damn it!)



hi i'm 30/m i love mature pussy

(obviously from an immature asshole)



wow you looking stunningly gorgeous in those pictures of yours mobounce hard to believe your 47 you surely dont look your age

(nice compliment but again he looked at the pics & didn’t read the page, it says I’m 50 so I am even more remarkable for still looking good three years older! LMAO)



u horny babe?? coz i got a serrious hard on

(…and I was supposed to have cared starting when?)



Hello. hope you are havinga good night. It might be fun getting to know each other.

(then chat in the room, get to know everyone, that’s how you get to know me)



Hiya!! Wanna cam with me? I'll show everything and you dont have to show anything. Fair?

(What a bargain! I could just turn his cam on & walk away or I could just walk away… think I choose the last one there)



your watching tv wearing a short skirt and a low cut tight top as your son sitting across from you as you cross your legs you see him stealing glances at your cleavage and legs and you then....

(I throw the remote at him, smacking him in the head as I yell at him to get a damned life!)



do you like horny young men

(If they’re young they’re horny & yes, some of them I like though not because of either)



You have by far the most amazing eyes i Yahoo history

(In all of Yahoo history? Was there a poll I was unaware of here?)



hi 47 male here 3 inch cock

(LOL, using that worm as bait are ya?)



wow MO -- I love your sexy eyes -- I would like to cum for you ... what do you think ?

(I think you’d better be happy with just having the pics watch you)



wow - you are absolutely stunning

(Thank you)



Hello there, mobounce... I'm looking for somebody who might be interested in having a little bit of fun tonight, possibly, maybe. If you'd like, please feel free to write me back. And if not, well, then that's okay too. Either way, thanks, and have a good night!

(Polite trolling… LOL)



Hi how does it feel to know you made a young guy hard

(Really? A breeze can do that! Not impressed)



Girls night out with your friends...you have had 4-5 drinks too many....I watch you stumble down the dark hallway at the back of the bar....follow you into the mensroom...locking the door behind me....You take a wrong turn, I ask?
Before you can react, I shove you facefirst against the filthy wall....cuffing your hands to pipes overhead.....my hands slide over your body...ripping your tight black dress open...letting it hang on you....mmmmm....no bra...no panties...you slut, I laugh....

(Why is it a common fantasy of some men to make women submissive victims, especially with violent overtones? Besides, this would NEVER happen. Women go to the bathroom in packs in bars! Probably for this very reason)



*looks you over thoughtfully and considers using my incredibly mad science to turn you into a giant!*

(now THAT’S original!)



And with that I’ll close the first installment of my private message blog. Is it any wonder that I don’t take PMs? I’m sure there will be more to come over time.