What an odd evening we had last weekend! It's rare that I find myself in a situation that fills me with such a torrent of so many poignant emotions all at once.
It was the all class reunion for the high school my husband graduated from and I should have had we not moved out of the city after my freshman year. We had only found out it was to happen nine days before it took place but we'd looked at the web site the alumni had set up and I'd found that there would be people there that I'd gone to school with during my grade and middle school years that I hadn't seen in literally a lifetime so we decided to go, really looking forward to it as well.
Now let me add that all my life I have had more male friends than female. I do have female friends; I just get along with males too. They really aren't all that difficult a creature to understand as many women would want to portray. As long as you understand they are male, are meant to be male and don't have to be like females then you're good to go. (I personally prefer them to be whom and what they are because I absolutely don't believe females are the apex of perfection by any stretch of the imagination either. I've worked with them, it's a wonder men can ever stand them!) Anyway, in my youth I spent more hours tromping around wooded trails exploring the world, playing games, riding bikes with my guy pals than I could ever stomach playing store, board games or listening to music with my girl friends. (Dolls were strictly out, had no use for them) I'd seen on the roster of those planning to attend this reunion one of my best school pals. His name was Anthony and I remembered how it had broke my heart when his family had moved away when we were in the forth grade. As it happened I had run into him once for a few minutes not long after I'd gotten out of high school, the one I had moved to later. My brother and I had gone to my uncle's house to pick something up one night and I had waited in the car. While I sat there a guy my age had come from the house and asked if I'd remembered him. It was dark and by that time my eye disease had already stolen my night vision so I could see nothing more of him than as a darker shadow against the night. He didn't seem to mind that I didn't recognize him because he enthusiastically told me he was Anthony; we'd gone to school together. Of course I remembered him and I asked him how he was, what he'd been doing and the obvious, why was he here at my uncle's house. He was in the military, stationed in ..:namespace prefix = st1 ns = "urn:schemas-microsoft-com:office:smarttags" />Alaska and somehow in the course of life had met and married my distant cousin. They were there visiting with his father in law, who was closer to my uncle than he was to any of the rest of the immediate family. Anthony was getting ready to go back to Alaska with his new wife. He blurted out that he'd kept all the Valentine's Day cards that I'd given him that we'd all exchanged in elementary school and I was so surprised and flattered. Oh my dear readers, if you'd have known me then… I had no self worth, was so painfully shy and introverted… The fact that he'd remembered me no less saved anything from me was a concept I just couldn't perceive. My brother returned to the car and I had to give fast goodbyes and best wished but to this day I regret not having made sure I knew how to keep in contact with him before we'd left. I'd asked my uncle soon after if he had any contact information for Anthony but he hadn't. So I lost touch yet again. When I saw that he'd be attending the reunion I was excited that finally I'd get to talk to him again!
Good God what a fiasco it was! Oh yes, it was a huge turnout. So huge in fact that people filled and spilled out everywhere from the out of the way restaurant/bar. I saw some people I'd not seen in 30 years and we talked of old times and how things had gone for each other in our life. We saw people we remembered and were remembered by some who we didn't. "I don't remember" and "I do remember" were overly used phrases all the way around. Since my father, mother, aunts and uncles had all graduated from the same school there was an odd feeling of family because graduates were generational among many there and even though I'd been hoping to run into anyone who might have known my mother or father that never came to pass. We did meet one woman there who had graduated before either me or my husband but she wasn't there as much for herself as she was for her brother who had been killed. She said that she came to the reunions to hear stories of her brother from those who had known him. Both my husband and I had although his was more knowledge just by name. I told her that at one time I had a crush on her brother and that he had been a nice guy and he had for the most part. I told her that I'd met him when he was running around with some friends of mine riding trail and mini bikes in some of the trails that ran through some of the wooded areas around our neighborhood. As I said earlier, if there were trails to be explored I was often out in them. She was so happy to talk to someone who had known him that I didn't have the heart to tell her that what I remembered most about her brother was that he had been very aware of his good looks and what many other girls were willing to give him because of them but that when he was about 17 and I was 13 he'd once taken me for a ride back into the trails, stopped the mini-bike, tried his damnedest to get me to go further than I was willing to go beyond some kissing and petting, became angry that I didn't find him so irresistible then left me to walk back out of the trails when I'd refused to play his more than practiced game. No sense in tarnishing her obviously glowing memories. I really didn't think her brother had been a bad guy. He'd just been a young man being a young man and hitting the proverbial brick wall with me. *grins* I do understand her grieving though, I'm very close to my brother and if something were to happen to him I would be devastated.
While we were out walking about two groups of people had come up to us trying to place me amongst their memories. One group of guys all echoing the comment, 'You would have come out with me', yet they couldn't remember who I was but made it clear they'd like to now. As I said, I'd been very shy and introverted so I'm not really surprised by their not remembering me but then I hadn't been invisible so had they made the effort then to know a young girl who they'd made a point to over look then they would have known me now but since they'd not had the time for me then neither did I for them at this point. The other set was a group of obviously still very cliquish women. "You look so familiar to us but we can't place your name…" Again I explained that I had been very quiet and shy in school and I hadn't graduated with the class so perhaps that were the reason why. They, on the other hand, weren't familiar to me at all but then again, not surprising since I never was one for cliques. I had my friends but we hadn't gone through school all connected at the hip.
Through the chaos I did manage to get with my class for the pictures. Not everyone was there because the only way we had heard the announcement was that we'd been inside when it was made and none of the announcements had long been cut off to the outside revelers. It was already deep night so I'm not sure how the pictures will turn out but I did stand next to one woman I remembered immediately because she had been on of the tallest girls I'd known. Since it was so dark I wasn't able to recognize or even see anyone else. I kept thinking, I wonder if Anthony is standing within arms length and neither of us knows it… I'd been looking for him but I'd yet to find him.
There were many who didn't attend that I had really been hoping to find again and many who may have been there that we just missed among the throngs. (Even the organizers said that the next one will be in a much larger place) We met up with some old friends and talked of the past. It's funny how some events are so fresh in your mind it's like they just happened yesterday. Still others slowly walk into the light of memory after lurking in the shadows of remembrance and others are somehow pushed completely out of the hard drive of our minds for need of space for storage of more important matters. It's also amazing just how much most people change over a life. You somehow think that those you know in high school will retain at least most of their features so that you'd know them when they crossed your path again – believe me, they don't! Very few looked like they did then. It's just the normal cycle of life of course but fascinating to witness. We learned of the fates of some who were no longer with us, favorite teachers and classmates alike.The evening was winding down, at least for us, so we went inside for a while to watch the 'door prize' drawings. No winning for us and as much as I'd looked – no Anthony was ever found. We left for home. I spent that night as well as the next day flooded with all those emotions that I'd mentioned before - excitement, contemplation, sadness, surprise, happiness, nostalgia and disappointment. Perhaps one day I'll find Anthony again, perhaps not but I know that I certainly don't regret going to this reunion and hope to do so again with even better results next time!
No comments:
Post a Comment